I am in a couple of mum groups on Facebook. These groups are great as everyone is able to pick the brain of others in the group with all sorts of info from sleep troubles to where is the best place to get a taco in Missoula (it's Tia's Big Sky FYI). Inevitably, what seems like every couple of days, someone asks for OB recommendations based on who is going to be more open to certain birthing options, i.e unmedicated births, birthing a breech baby, etc.
It breaks my heart just a little bit each time to see these mother's giving their power away. Instead of realizing that they are the boss and employer of the obstetrician/midwife, they are trying to hedge their bets on what they can 'get away with' during labor and delivery. Instead of going into this primal, innate, natural, amazing and beautiful experience expressing the goddess they are, they are worried about having interventions pushed on them that they don't want. And I get it. We have been taught to fear giving birth. We have been taught that the doctor knows best and has our best interests at heart, every single time they make a decision. We have been taught that we are not enough during this process (and others) and it's imperative we have 'help' to get this baby out of us. We have been taught that what our partner wants in this process is as important as ours, the birthing mother (in my opinion, it's not).
It's my hope that these words empower those who are thinking about getting pregnant and those that are pregnant to take the time to figure out exactly what YOU want during this process. You know your body better than anybody. You are allowed to ask questions about WHY things are recommended to you. You get to say no, if certain tests and imaging don't align with what you want for yourself and your child. You get to choose your provider(s) for the whole journey and change to somebody new, if at any time you don't feel the support and care that you expect. You get to place your trust in the provider(s) that you actually trust.
So while using the FB mother groups to ask questions about others experiences with certain providers is a great place to start, it shouldn't be the end of the line. Everyone has a different vision for the birth of their child. I encourage you to sit with yourself, breathe deeply into your belly, and allow your true desires to come forward. It might take awhile and feel hard, but if you listen, what you actually want will come to the front. And when it does, I implore you to listen and act on those desires. It'll be one of the most rewarding things you'll ever do.
Peace, Love and Wellness,